Pevny points out that in order to become truly wise and vibrant elders we must actively participate in our ongoing growth and transformation. It is never too late to experience an ever unfolding, meaningful fulfillment of our potential no matter how old we are. He says, “Many people think that the best we can hope for as we age is to continue to be who we have been throughout mid-life….The reality is that in our psyches, our inner selves, we want to unfold and grow.” He cautions us that we can’t transform into our new cycle if we are continuing to carry what we have been in the past. He shares the three phases of coming into elderhood: severance, neutral zone, and reincorporation. The first phase of this transformation is severance, and it really is letting go, in a healthy and honoring way, of who we have been. Pevny describes the next phase, the neutral zone, as liminal time. “That’s an in between time of lying fallow. We’re not who we have been, we’re not clear who we’re becoming, but the seeds of possibility are there kind of gestating. It could be a time of feeling lost: there aren’t road maps; there aren’t any clear markers. We can feel that we will be stuck here forever. However, it is out of this ground of being in which wonderful new beginnings and new clarity can emerge.” Pevny underscores the idea that we have lost meaningful rites of passage in modern society, “If we feel a call to age consciously, a call to elderhood, and we don’t have rites of passage, then it’s important for us to at least be doing the inner work . . . and especially doing it in the company of others and having certain key moments when we are witnessed and supported by others. Then we can tap into some of that rite of passage energy.”
