Don’t just do something, sit there.

Sylvia Boorstein,Ph.D. author of
Happiness Is an Inside Job: Practicing for a Joyful Life

“This quote leaps to mind and is one that gets passed around the hospice, palliative medicine, and contemplative circles. It is simply a little play on words. It’s such good advice particularly in dealing with the throes of illness and caregiving. My co-author, Shoshana Berger, is very fond of that phrase that she learned after the death of her father, who she lost to dementia. She realized looking back the wisdom in that statement. Truly, what is there to do in healing between people? Sure there’s stuff to be done, there’s a task list, etcetera and we feel good doing things and checking things off lists. That’s real enough. But ultimately the bottom line when it comes to healing in this world, it seems much more to do with someone bearing witness–with just being with someone in awkward silence or touch. These very basic, basic things where so much of the power is.”

BJ Miller, M.D. co-author with Shoshana Berger of
A Beginners Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death