From the moment I arrive at my desk it seems I am being constantly interrupted and diverted from my “to-do” list and doing someone else’s work. I find a three-headed monster, an energy-draining taskmaster waiting for me. One head is all the phone messages that need attention, the second is all the email and texts that wants my response, and the third is the messages from my teammates who need some piece from me for them to continue with their “to-do” list. Like the whack-a-mole game, all of this takes me far away from my own agenda. I find that I’m focusing on everyone else’s projects while my own work grows in piles on my desk.
As I pause in my frustration over all the distractions that are calling me, I recall a moment when my late partner, Michael was sitting in my office, and I was complaining to him about all the interruptions in my day. He reminded me of what our life-coach, Cathy Hawk, advised. “You can either complain about it or apply some clarity to it.”
Some of us have been multitasking for a long time. It’s a skill that many women have honed as mothers. So, it is not surprising that our work becomes increasingly fragmented as we face competing priorities and the demands of saying yes to every task, small or large, that comes along. But do we ever stop and ask: Is this mine to do? Could someone else do it? What would I need to remove from my agenda in order to do this? Stephen Covey, business consultant and author of First Things First, says we will never get to our best if we keep doing what we’re good at.
If you are scanning the current 2025 news, you’ll notice that the “frog in boiling water” analogy has been featured in political reports. This analogy was first attributed to the German physiologist Friedrich Goltz, who, in the 19th century, conducted experiments proving the concept of not noticing gradual changes until it was too late. The metaphor is that if you put a frog into water that is already boiling it will immediately jump out. However, if a frog is put into cold water and you slowly apply heat, the frog will not notice the water is heating up, and it will allow itself to boil to death. The story is primarily used as a metaphor to illustrate how people might not react to a slowly escalating dangerous situation until it becomes critical.
Our work can be like that. Slowly the temperature rises, and we adapt; it rises some more, and we adapt— until the temperature is so hot we collapse in a heap of exhaustion.
The gift of clarity is within our grasp and a key warning sign is when we notice we are complaining. To facilitate clarity and to recalibrate what is needed to discern the rising temperature take some quiet time and shift into an attitude of alert receptivity. Ask our friends and coworkers to help us by reminding us that we are complaining. When complaints emerge, you can remember that clarity is the antidote. Take a moment, a time out to take the temperature of our struggles and where we are putting our energy. Take some quiet time to reflect on the habitual coping skills that no longer serve us. Activate the circuit breakers of complaint, allowing the energy of clarity to flow.
